scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
