I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
