i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
