id be glad to
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
