but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
