Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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