Fuck appropriateness.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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