i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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