Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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