I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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