thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
