glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
