I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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