I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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