you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
