he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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