Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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