If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
