he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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