When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
