saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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