if you like me you must not know who I am
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
