But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
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It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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