i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
