At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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