just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
