i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
