he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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