handjob tips. give me some.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
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