Your tits are I can't wait for
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
