Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize