The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize