I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
