we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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