planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
