Plan B is the new Plan A
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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