Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
