Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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