Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
