Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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