Soap is not a condiment
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize