Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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