i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
