So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Text me some of your sweat
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
