yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
