Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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