white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
