I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
wow bdsm is so cute
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
