Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
