eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
