My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
