i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My bed smells like the plague
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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