I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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