It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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