she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
