kristin has been a bad kristin
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
