is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
