i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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