It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
