I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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