Umm I'm too high to move.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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