How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
